


Night Out

by hypnoshatesme



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff, I think?, Other, i pur them into fun outfits and send them on a date, look the premise of this is just
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:27:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26771416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hypnoshatesme/pseuds/hypnoshatesme
Summary: Dating the Distortion certainly never gets boring.
Relationships: Gerard Keay/Michael | The Distortion
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	Night Out

**Author's Note:**

> I'm 99% sure korrolrezni came up with the idea, one way or another, they did write some of the dialogue and provided ~inspiration~

Something was wrong with Gerry’s closet. He didn't notice, at first, and even when it became obvious things were going missing he assumed he was somehow misplacing them at first. It happened. Gerry wasn't the most diligent with laundry.

But when his favourite sleeping shirt disappeared and he couldn't find it anywhere in the apartment, he knew something was up. His closet seemed to be eating his clothes. When he looked closer, he realised that the reason it had taken so long for him to actually notice was because they were being replaced. He found himself pulling out a pair of black jeans only for them to not, in fact, be black. Instead he found himself holding something striped, sunflower yellow and bright red. He frowned at them for a long moment, unsure what he was expecting to happen. Maybe for the colours to fade back to black. They didn't. He put them back in the closet and got them out a moment later. Now they had big green polka dots on orange. He sighed.

"Subtlety is really not your strong suit, Michael," he mumbled into the empty room. 

There was no answer, but Gerry still felt like he could hear the laughter like a distant tinnitus. 

He shook his head and left the trousers on his desk. He was used to Michael’s shenanigans. Usually it at least showed itself when it decided to fuck around with things. Gerry actually hadn’t seen it in a while. Clearly, it was making sure he didn’t forget about it even if it didn’t grace Gerry with its presence. As if Gerry could ever forget about it.

Gerry still tried to ignore whatever was happening with his clothes. He just went about his life. It wasn’t the first time Michael tried to get to him with its reality-bending-shit. Usually, it considered Gerry’s reaction - or lack thereof - too boring to continue, eventually. It was a game, of sorts, and Gerry was determined to not let this get to him, either. His life was weird enough. Accepting a capricious closet really shouldn’t be too hard as long as he kept himself from thinking about it too much. And ever since Michael had become a reoccuring aspect of his life, Gerry had become decent at that. He was confident this would just end in Michael giving him a disappointed pout again, complaining that he was no fun. Gerry grinned at the image. It was a surprisingly cute expression, in a very wrong way.

Gerry was running out of clothes that did not have clashing colours and patterns. Even when he had stopped putting his clothes in the closet, they eventually shifted into garish button-ups and equally horrible trousers. It was getting, if not annoying, at least slightly inconvenient. Okay, maybe Gerry was also starting to get a little annoyed. But he wouldn’t let it get to him. Gerry went shopping.

He wasn’t necessarily surprised that, once he got home and reached into the bag, he did not pull out the black clothes he had bought in the shop. But he  _ was _ a little irritated as he looked at the shirt that looked like it was made from multiple horrendous shirts. Looking at it too much hurt, and he couldn’t quite pin down which sleeve had what pattern, colours seemingly shifting as his eyes tried to focus on it. But they never had the same colours or patterns, no matter how long Gerry looked at it. The same seemed to be going for the rest of the shirt, one side different from the other, different from the collar and the back and at the same time never the same. It was a nightmare to look at. 

He looked at the trousers instead, feeling like he had gone cross eyed from staring at the shirt for way too long. At least the trousers seemed to be shifting less, but maybe that was him. They had some sort of wavy pattern to it in what might be yellow, or maybe blue, Gerry couldn’t tell. Which probably wasn’t a good sign. This needed to stop. Gerry wanted his clothes back. He started changing out of his clothes and into the atrocities he had just brought home, sure Michael wouldn’t skip on the opportunity to show up and tease him about it. Gerry didn’t need to face the mirror to know he looked wrong. He sighed, brushing his hair out of his face. 

“Fine, Michael. I caved in. You can stop this...whatever you’re doing, now.”

Gerry didn’t even hear the door open, but he knew Michael was there even before it spoke up, “Ah! You gave up so quickly!”

It took a moment for Gerry to figure out where Michael’s voice was coming from. Gerry was fairly certain that was business as usual, but he couldn’t be sure about it. The thought slipped from his mind when he finally found Michael’s grinning face to his left, closer than it should for Gerry not to notice at first. It was difficult to tell, but Gerry was fairly sure, somehow, that it was taking him in. Gerry had already forgotten what he was wearing in the underlying confusion Michael always brought with it. But he remembered, now.

“What exactly was this all about?”

Michael’s impossible grin went a little wider and Gerry was still fairly sure it was still not looking at his face. “Colour.”

Gerry crossed his arms in front of his chest, raising an eyebrow. “Colour? All of this to...what, see me in colour?”

Now Michael’s nightmarish eyes dragged themselves up to meet his, making Gerry squint before the mess of bright colours calmed into something less painful to look at. 

“Worth every second,” Michael said, amused, as far as Gerry could discern. 

Though it always sounded amused, he guessed. Maybe it seemed like a more specific kind, one Gerry couldn’t quite place but could feel. He let out a deep sigh, but a smile was tugging at the corners of his mouth. This was ridiculous, which, of course, was very much like Michael.

“You could have just asked, you know.”

Michael snickered its strange laugh and ran one of its hands through its twisting curls. It had started doing that recently and Gerry was still unsure if it was aware of it, purposefully calling him out on his habit, or if it had simply picked it up subconsciously. It sure made for a very strange view, fingers looking sharp enough to give it an impromptu haircut. Then again, its hair didn’t really behave or feel like hair, either.

“Where would have been the fun in that?”

Gerry shook his head and laughed. He gently bumped it with his elbow. “You’re unbelievable.” 

Michael was back to letting its eyes wander over him, expression still unreadable, though Gerry thought it looked somewhat alert? 

“Well, how do I look?” he asked, letting his arms fall back to his side and turning around.

Michael made what Gerry assumed was an appreciative noise. It sounded a little bit like a trill. When he looked back Michael looked...soft. Felt? Gerry wasn’t sure. Neither was he sure what exactly he  _ meant _ with soft. It looked very put together, as far as he could tell. It seemed...agitated? But in a good way. A smooth way?

“Adequate,” it buzzed after a moment, and Gerry understood it was  _ excited _ . Its hair twisting and twirling into little….hearts? betrayed its word choice. That was new. Michael always seemed to find new ways to express itself and Gerry was rather fascinated by the motion for a moment. Definitely hearts. 

He grinned, looking back at its face. “Adequate?”

“ _ Very _ adequate.” 

Gerry was unsure whether he imagined the heart shapes flying through its eyes. He laughed, head a little light from looking at its eyes so intently. He assumed this was one of those cases where Michael avoided saying what it actually meant. Sometimes Gerry wondered if it did it on purpose. It was never clear on how much it could really go against whatever it talked about as ‘its nature’. Gerry guessed its hair and words not quite matching probably fell into that vaguely defined confusing nature.

“Where did my clothes go?” he asked after a moment. It was difficult to remember what had brought him to this, as it always was when Michael was around. But Gerry usually managed, to Michael’s impressed disappointment. “Do you have them?” Gerry added before his mind got all hazy again. It was usually easier to keep track while talking.

Michael instantly broke his focus with its seemingly unrelated comeback, eyes going bigger, “Do you want to see me in black?”

Gerry frowned, unsure how they had come to this point in the conversation. He shrugged, knowing thinking too much about it would only give him a headache. He  _ had _ never seen it in dark clothes. It might look interesting.

“Hm...sure.”

Michael put one finger to its lips in what was probably a thoughtful gesture. Gerry knew what was coming when it started to flicker and shift and he lowered his gaze, having long since learned that watching when Michael changed its form - and he guessed clothes, too - would just give him a migraine. He waited until the suddenly more intense, popping static calmed down again before he looked up. 

Michael was, indeed, wearing all black, but that was the last thing that made Gerry’s eyes widen. It was wearing a bat sleeve, v-neck blouse, cropped and tied at the waist and velvet flare trousers. The black plateau ankle boots and black ribbon tying Michael’s hair into a ponytail really added to the overall look and Gerry grinned, trying not to laugh. Of course. What had he expected from  _ Michael _ ? Obviously it would find a way to make an all black outfit as eccentric as its usual attire. Somehow, it looked so very fitting and Gerry’s shoulders were shaking with bit back laughter, more at how Michael had managed to be utterly surprising yet again than the actual outfit.

Michael threw its hair back at Gerry’s reaction, grin wide and self-satisfied. “What? Deliciously handsome?” It winked, or maybe one of its eyes glitched into its face for a moment. “Of course, that's why you are shaking at the mere sight of me."

Gerry burst out laughing, then, and Michael’s echoing, layered laughter soon joined him. It took a moment before Gerry managed to calm down, some chuckles still escaping him. “You’re going to be the end of me, Michael.”

“In a good way?” Michael giggled, brushing Gerry’s hair behind his ear, uncovering the lovely blush the laughing had left him with.

Gerry grinned up at it. He wasn’t sure if the boots were actually making it any taller, or if Michael was distorting its height on purpose, as it sometimes did. “In a very  _ confusing _ way, probably.”

Michael looked satisfied, one long finger twisting a strand of Gerry’s hair around it. It let go for the hair to stay in a perfect ringlet. It leaned it close, thumb tracing Gerry’s jaw.

“Since we’re all dressed up...how about we go out?” it purred.

Gerry cocked an eyebrow. “Oh? What do you suggest?”

It pointed at the open door that hadn’t been there a moment ago. Gerry followed the motion with his eyes, but he couldn’t see a lot, mostly neon signs and faint music.

“What’s that?”

“Do you want to find out?”

“That’s unfair.” Gerry mock-complained. Michael knew he could never say no to such a question. He could already feel the urge to find out whatever was behind that door. Gerry had been like that even before the Eye, but it did seem to be even worse now. He sighed, giving Michael a nod and taking its outstretched hand. Michael grinned and pulled him through the door.

It was loud and Gerry was disoriented, which wasn’t necessarily new. While he was comfortable enough to use Michael’s doors by now, it usually still left him a little light headed. But it wasn’t just that, this time. There were lights and different kinds of music everywhere and it took Gerry a moment to make sense of his surroundings. An amusement park. He raised an eyebrow. “Is this the place you mentioned last time?”

“The time you didn’t want to leave your apartment, yes.”

“I was tired.”

Michael laced their fingers together, its own looking as human as they ever got, though they still felt heavy. Gerry knew that if he looked hard enough, he could still make out the long and sharp digits that shouldn’t be able to fit between his own fingers at all.

“You are boring when you’re tired.”

He looked up at it. “I’m always tired.”

Michael was closer than it had been a moment before and when Gerry looked down he saw that it had provided him with some holographic pink plateau boots. Trying to figure out if they matched with anything he was wearing was a thought he decided to not bother with. Michael’s face was suddenly in front of him. 

“Thankfully, you’re not always boring.” It grinned, wide. “I do like when you get all cuddly.”

Gerry blushed a little, mumbling, “Thanks, I guess.” He looked away, trying to change the topic. “So, where to?”

Michael straightened up again. “Wherever you want to go.”

Gerry thought about it for a moment. It all looked and sounded overwhelming, too many colourful lights and different smells. He had never been in a place like this without it being work-related. He had no idea how to navigate it  _ for fun _ . 

He frowned, unsure. “I think...I could eat.”

Michael nodded and started walking, pulling him along. They walked around for a while and Gerry got himself something to eat along the way. He was surprised to find his wallet in his pocket, though the vendor seemed so utterly confused looking at Gerry’s ever-shifting shirt that he could have probably managed without paying, had he wanted to. 

The vendor wasn't the only eyes they drew as they casually made their way along the streets in-between booths and rides. It wasn’t new. Gerry had drawn eyes long before he started occasionally walking around hand in hand with somebody that towered over most people and also, if looked at too closely, looked somewhat removed from human. Still, he was fairly sure that part of the glances they were getting now were due to their attire. As somebody who was rather used to such looks, Gerry could just feel it. 

He wasn't necessarily bothered by it. His surroundings provided enough distraction from that strange awareness that he was wearing something quite outside his comfort zone. Gerry had never been to an amusement park outside of work-related instances. Well, instance. The memory put him somewhat on edge at first. He felt Michael's hand tighten around his own and his thoughts scattered. He gave it an apologetic smile.

“You should try one of the rides,” it said.

“For distraction?” It was probably not a bad idea. Gerry guessed that’s why people came to these places in the first place.

Michael grinned. “For fun.”

Gerry rolled his eyes, but grinned. “Lead the way.”

The rides  _ were _ fun. And it did make it significantly more difficult to get hung up on whatever paranormal entities might be on the loose within the amusement park. The clinging unease subsided as they went from one to the next. 

Michael didn’t seem too impressed by the rides themselves, but it seemed to take joy in how obviously it added to the light-headedness of the people sitting close, how uncomfortable they seemed the moment they sat down. Some even forgot to gawk at their attire once Michael was sitting right next to them.

The only thing that did seem to genuinely make Michael buzz excitedly next to Gerry was when they approached the house of mirrors. Gerry rolled his eyes. “Sometimes, you  _ are _ predictable, you know?”

“Were you expecting me to ask you to go in there?” 

There was something in its voice that made Gerry think for a moment, consider where the catch might be. “No, I thought the choice would be too obvious.”

“Then I subverted your expectations.” It squeezed his hand in barely-contained amusement.

Gerry chuckled. “There’s no winning with your word-twisting…”

It took very little time for Gerry to get lost within the mirrored halls, all reflecting distorted versions of himself and sometimes somebody else, sometimes nothing at all. He was fairly sure they were not all supposed to work like this. Michael followed him closely, thought it seemed more distracted than usual, which probably had something to do with the occasional distressed noises reaching Gerry from fellow people walking around the labyrinth. Michael often bothered the people around them a little - even when, as far as Gerry could tell, it wasn’t actively trying - so he let it slide. It was clear that it was doing it on purpose this time, but maybe people would simply get out thinking of how impressive the house of mirrors is. People were weird. Some were surely enjoying this right now. Michael was certainly looking like it was having a great time whenever Gerry looked at it, and it did make him smile, although somewhat guiltily. 

Gerry did stop when he saw a door in one of the mirrors, one currently being approached by a wide-eyed person whose hurried steps betrayed the urge to get out of the maze. Gerry knew where this was going, hand coming to grab Michael’s wrist, forcing it to stop next to him.

He sighed in mock-exasperation. “Really, Michael? On a date?”

Michael looked at him, but only with one of its eyes. The other was still trained on the door in anticipation. “ _ You _ already had dinner.”

Gerry shook his head. He knew it didn’t kill them anymore, just let them wander until close - sometimes beyond - the breaking point and released them again. It had been the best compromise they could manage, and Gerry had made peace with it. But that didn’t mean he necessarily wanted to watch the next victim open the door. That would be a rather sour end to a pretty nice date.

Personally, Gerry had had a very different end in mind. As ridiculous as Michael’s outfit seemed, Gerry had caught his eyes lingering on its velvet-hugged hips, the bit of exposed not-skin that looked so much paler in-between all the black. Even when Gerry caught it shifting from the human pale colour Michael usually stuck with. Maybe the actual ridiculous aspect of Michael’s get-up was that Gerry was into it. 

His hand slipped from its wrist, coming to rest on its waist instead. Michael’s other eye focused on him, too, then, a curious glint in it. Only for a moment. Maybe Gerry had imagined it. The tips of his fingers slipped underneath its blouse as he leaned in, still a bit too short to properly reach Michael’s ear.

He knew it still heard him when he mumbled, voice low, “Let’s go home. I haven’t had dessert yet.”

It seemed to lose its grip on itself for a short moment, something like a shiver running through it. Gerry gave it a knowing grin, eyes half-lidded as he followed the line of whatever was going for its spine in that moment downwards. It  _ could _ be quite predictable sometimes. The smug grin on Gerry’s lips only grew when the door previously in one of the mirrors in front of them appeared behind them and Michael pulled him through it, an anticipating grin on its own lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Michael's outfit was actually sent to me by my abovementioned friend and it's glorious.


End file.
